First night with baby.

Maverick and I slept on the couch bc I was afraid his crying would wake Ethan up. Ethan’s room is next to ours and the last thing I need is two of my boys awake. Which wasn’t bad bc everything was accessible if I needed anything from downstairs. He slept on my chest so the minute he was hungry, I just plopped him on my boob and nursed. So much easier than making a bottle or warming it up. We both fell asleep while he was nursing lol. It was nice. I woke up at exactly the right times I needed to.

We moved to the bed around 5 while Vic was getting ready and slept some more until he woke up. Ethan woke up too so now we’re eating breakfast. I was a bit scared but I guess it’s better I take care of the boys on my own instead of depending on help.

I’m gonna regret that later though. I have a feeling.

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Lost 2 more lbs. yay!

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I really just want to make this post about you oceanage. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. Helping me and giving me advice on any question I needed when it came to breastfeeding. Always asking how I’m doing during my pregnancy. Listening to me when I ranted about my pregnancy being high risked. Just being there. If I could I would hug you.

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Last week I was 145. Thursday I was 135. Today I am 133. So so happy. Of course I’m not expecting the weight to just come off but seeing the numbers go down is really uplifting.

And even though Maverick being in the hospital is stressful, I’m actually feeling good. I bet that’ll change when Maverick does come home. But I’m already aware of that. So I guess it’s okay. I’m not ignorant. I know it’ll be hard to raise two kids. I know I’ll lose sleep and lose my patience. I’m not painting this picture that everything will fall into place.

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I always felt bad for those mothers who have their babies and have to send them to the NICU. Now I am one of those mothers. That feeling of not being able to hold your baby anytime you want is just excruciating. I know I have Ethan at home and it sounds like I’m trying to replace him. Ethan is probably the only thing that keeps my mind off Maverick.

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guiltypleasuresreviews:

taragraceknowles:

girlshavetoomanythoughts:

In my mind, Tara took the boys to Providence and lives there with Opie, and Jax is meeting them there after he kills Gemma.

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Yep! #soa

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I always get teary eyed whenever September 11 comes around. I still mourn for my city.

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Something that’s NOT SOA related.

I’m actually surprised that I’m not even writing about it. Because I usually have an opinion.

But Vic and I tried my breast milk lol. It was okay. Vic said it didn’t taste bad and it really does kinda taste like cantaloupe juice.

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